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Post by RacerX on Aug 19, 2002 12:31:40 GMT -5
Thanks Pabs! I had a GREAT time & look forward to more! OK, I have some of them to paste, the rest will come later...I promise!
Thanks again Pabs, it was FUN!
:-)
RacerX
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Post by RacerX on Aug 19, 2002 12:32:38 GMT -5
Journal Entry 2002-230
Well, well, well, my little Rubens, how are you? You know, I should have stayed in bed today. What? Yes, I should have stayed in bed & missed my great day of battle with my Juan Pablo Montoya of karting. It was a disaster. A complete disaster. We planned to show up first thing this morning, and be the first ones out on the track. Well, that part of the day worked out…but the rest was…well, I’ll tell you about it, and you decide.
We pulled up at exactly 10:00am prompt. I knew something was wrong, when I realised the entire parking lot was empty. Empty! Only two cars, mine & Pabs’. I went to the door only to be greeted by a sign that said: CLOSED! Oh…they don’t open until 11:00am. So I capitolized on the opportunity to get my Juan Pablo to add a few more pounds by suggesting breakfast at a greasy McD’s. ;-)
I skipped breakfast and enjoyed a nutritional drink filled with all the vitamins and nutrients needed for a complete day; a large coca-cola!
After watching my soon to be track combatant slam an entire breakfast sandwich with ALL the fixings, I started to feel a little better. Yes, into the trap my little friend, into the trap. I suggested another, but my Juan Pablo said he was full. The timing was perfect…we had 10 minutes to drive back to the track.
I felt if I could get his mind off the up coming race, I’d be another step ahead. I drove a few miles out of the way, took a few wrong turns, and when I felt he’s bound to be asking himself “What’s this idiot doing, where’s he going?”, I knew it was time to get there. (OK, yes Rubens, I actually missed a few turns and was almost lost, but this version sounds better!) Once again, I’m feeling more and more confident as the morning sun creeps higher and higher into the big Texas sky.
To Be Continued...
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Post by RacerX on Aug 19, 2002 12:33:40 GMT -5
Continue of Journal Entry 2002-230
Oh man, the sun…that sun…that Texas sun…wuff. I didn’t count on that bastard being so big, and soooo hot! Wuff, it was only 11:00am and it was already blazing hot! This bothered me a bit, knowing my counter part was from a region closer to the equator then myself, he’s probably used to this intense HEAT!
I felt like I was melting, and that was just from the short walk from the ticket counter, to the pit area. I shook my counterparts hand, wished him luck, and we chose helmets. We decided that since it was his first time at this track, then we’d take a one lap warm-up, just to warm-up the tyres & familiarize ourselves with the track. Or in my case, re-familiarize. Oh, those beautiful beasts were lined up looking eager to go. The olors, the tryes…holly hell, this HEAT! It’s freaking HOT!!!
Oh how I’d missed these beauties, my heart skipped a beat as I stepped towards the monster of choice. (Note: we’d agreed to swap cars later, so it would even out if there was a car advantage.) Then upon leaning over this beauty, I noticed something wrong. Something terribly wrong. The seat belts…what’s missing here? Oh man, it should have been an omen…the harness on the beauty of my choice was broken. I tried to flag my counterpart, but he was already strapped in a waiting at the staging lights. I had to hurry. I buckled three of the four harnesses, and figured I’d take my chances.
Hey Rubens, you remember that race where you lagged off pace & said it was because of your harness came undone during the race? Well, that’s how I was feeling while I pulled up to the staging lights. I was a little bothered. I shouldn’t have continued, but this was the race of champions, the monster race of races, the title for Texas’ best! I had to continue.
I know we had a gentleman’s agreement to take the first lap easy, to learn the track, so when the lights went out, I FLOORED it! I thought if I blasted a fast lap early, it’d play mind games on him, for my Juan Pablo would see the time difference between us & think to himself; “Man, that was warm-up lap? What’s his real time going to be like?” Well, this would have worked, but something was really wrong. Something was amiss. I couldn’t place my finger on it, but something wasn’t right as I pushed, no struggled to complete the first lap!
What was wrong, what could be the problem? Was it my harness, my grande butt slipping around in the cart? No, it was something much much more, something worse, and I still couldn’t get a grasp of it. My time FELT slow, but I was amazed at just HOW SLOW I’d gone…
I was in trouble, I was 4 seconds off my fastest lap time! Four seconds. Wuff, fortunately for me (I thought) my counterpart was another three seconds adrift of me. I still couldn’t peg what was wrong, but it just didn’t feel right. Unfortunately for me, the only thing I COULD feel was the freaking HEAT! I was positive the temperature had risen another ten degrees in just one lap! I wasn’t focused, I wasn’t crisp, I wasn’t sharp, and my butt was still sliding around in my beauty, but never the less, I pulled up to the starting lights prepared for battle…or so I thought.
Sure enough I was greeted with the red light. I anticipated, wanting to make a great start. GREEN-GREEN-GREEEEEEEN…and I’m off. The engine was roaring, the wind was blowing, but it wasn’t the Philharmonic symphony I was hearing, it was more like a bad group of white guys trying to make a Rap album. It was terrible. No smooth acceleration, no blasting forward, just a mediocre take off, that only a mere man would be proud of, nothing suitable for the Gods of Karting, or Michael Schumacher…that’s for sure.
I didn’t let the average start bother me, I kept the pressure on, I pushed and pushed. I snapped the accelerator in through the entire second sweeper turn, but something still was missing. The power??? Yes, the power, or LACK their of! I thought this can’t be the same karts I drove back in February. This beast is slow, non-snappy, non throttle responsive, lumbering like a hog, a pig, a tug boat. I struggled through the next three turns then suddenly bad went to worse. Coming out of turn 5 I stomped on the gas, and all I received was a loud BAM, and a clank, clank, clank. NO, NO I thought…something’s terribly wrong….terribly wrong. Sure enough, another stomp on the pedal, and a large piece of burning hot rubber flung from the back of my kart, right into my lap. Ouch, it wqas hot. But not as hot as this freaking Sun. Damned, could someone please turn down the heat???
Continued…
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Post by RacerX on Aug 19, 2002 16:07:31 GMT -5
(Continued...)
Continued…
Wow, look at me now. I’m dead in the water, a slow coast…off the track, through the grass…maybe I can cut across, back to the pit area…oh this is terrible, I’ve destroyed my good luck kart. The very same kart I used to pummel the hordes of eager girlscouts! the VERY same kart I used to crush my Mika Hakkinen. What am I to do…worse yet, what of my current Juan Pablo? Will he cruse on, unabated, to sure victory?
I couldn’t believe my fate…oh the humanity, I couldn’t even coast back to the starting line, much less the pit area. I wound up stranded in the middle area of the track, on the grass. My beast was spent, steaming, smoking, broke. It’s day was done. Track assistants came running & eventually pushed the once awesome kart away. Sad, so sad. The beasts 18 horsepower engine was kapoot, finished, dead.
I immediately looked toward the finish line, where to my surprise, was my Juan Pablo of karting, holding station, waiting for me to saddle up another kart! I couldn’t believe my very eyes. What a sportsman. I truly believe he knew that if he finished the day that way, his victory would have been a hollow one. Instead of finishing & winning a hollow victory, my competitor was a true champion in every way and patiently waited for me to sprint back to the pits, obtain a new car, and pull up to the starting grid again. (Poor fool, if it we the other way around, I would surely have taken the Schumacher way and continued on, thrashing his broke down arse, and laughing all the way to the finish line. Truly this Juan Pablo of mine deserves a sportsman of the year award…but that won’t win him any victories…LOL! (evil laugh)
I was panting like a two bit whore on pay-day! I ran to the car, buckled up the harness, the attendant fired breath into the 18 anxious ponies, and then I idled up to the starting grid yet again. I could barely see through my visor from the sweat that was FLOWING down my face and visor. Did I tell you it was hot? Man, it was flaming hot. I swear, I think the tyres on the replacement kart were flat sided from sitting stationary & melting that way.
Wuff…back to the race…I was sweating, I was breathing heavy, I was already exhausted and I hadn’t even completed one full race lap. This was bothersome, for now I was no longer focused on the race, but on my condition, the heat, the dream kart I’d destroyed…everything but the race! Wuff…prepare yourself Racer, prepare yourself…get back in the game, your thinking of everything but the race, look at the lights and focus…focus..foc Oh hell, green-Green-GREEN!!!
(To Be Continued…)
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Post by RacerX on Aug 19, 2002 16:18:18 GMT -5
(Continued...)
OK, I wont draw out this part of the story...I'll get right to it...(is the suspence killing you yet?)...
Let's just say my Juan Pablo Montoya of karting has gone the way of the Girl Scouts and my Mika Hakkinen.
He fought valliantly, a true champion in every aspect, a true sportsman...but today, he tasted defeat. I wont bore you with the details, but know this, I yet again reinforced the one and only fact that is now so obvious...
...I AM the Michael Schumacher of karting. I am the greatest. I fear no man! No man I tell you...save maybe one...I still must find out more about this man from up north, this stranger that is my Jaques Villeneuve of karting. Until then I can only say one this;
Next...
LOL, OK, yes, yes...I know my little Rubenio, I can't ever just say one thing...I talk soooo much. :-) You're correct, I love gab, but tonight I'm going to sleep once again as a victor, a champion, a true karting legend, a real...what? What? Yes, I said legend! Huh? Oh Rubens, say what you want, but I AM a legend...in my own mind! Mwua-ha-ha-ha-ha (evil laughing)...See my little Rubens, I can prove you wrong, for I'll say nothing more...simple who's next...who's my next challenger...my next victim...who wants, or needs to be crushed...to taste defeat? Well...well...I shall sleep well knowing that right now, other than you my little number two, no one else answers my call...
Good night little one.
(Close Journal Entry 2002-230)
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Post by RacerX on Aug 20, 2002 10:09:04 GMT -5
OK, I hope you all have enjoyed the diaries of a Mad Man...BTW-if you haven't figured it out yet...this guy really is a little off his rocker ;-)
I have to say Pabs was great competition, and I almost felt like I'd taken advantage of the poor guy. We really do need to schedule another round.
It had to be over a hundred degrees on the track, Pabs had never raced there before, and I have to say the karts were in real bad shape compared to last February when I last rode them. The disc brakes, the throttle response, the tyres...all considerably worn. I wonder if they replace them right after the first of the year, because in February, these 18hp puppies really sprinted, and handled so incredibly well. It might have also been the heat.
BOTH cars suffered serious understeer. We swapped cars and I found the same problem with Pabs original car...it didn't want to turn...at all.
Either way, I kicked his butt...LOL...but still, I have it from a secret reporter, that the previous night before the big race, Pabs was out until shortly after Three in the morning, thus Saturday morning at 10:ooam, he was suffering from a bit of a massive hang-over! ;-)
OK Pabs, we must have a rematch! If you're up for it! ;D
You all take care & I'll se ya around Shamu Croaks!
Later, Rx
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Post by Henrik on Aug 20, 2002 10:24:56 GMT -5
This guy is a little off his rocker!?!
Thanks for the outstanding story telling! It all helps to brighten up a boring work day.
Oh, and welcome to the impact of weather conditions to kart racing. Real hot weather makes for very tricky conditions. Pabs tells me you might go for an indoor kart track sometime. You really should, so that you can compete at the same time on the track, and experience some real overtaking action!!
I can't wait to get a chance to race again against some Shamu members.
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Post by RacerX on Aug 21, 2002 12:45:35 GMT -5
Henrik,
Most definitely. These beast are loads of fun, and a great drive, but they're so freaking expensive, they won't allow head to head, only lapped times.
I will say this, the indoor karting will be much better because I agree with you; nothing beats the thrill of passing someone and making it stick! My only fear there, is my weight will become a massive disadvantage. I'm not sure of the horsepower of the indoor karts, but I'm guessing it's 5, 6 or 8hp engines.
These 18hp puppies weren't effected a much, by my 225 pounds! :-)
Anywa, I'm sure Pabs & I will get to slap each other around soon enough. I hope we can squeeze it in before Indy. If not...then afterward will have to do.
Glad you enjoyed the ranting & ravings of a lunatic. Take care & I'll catch you around!
later, RacerX
P.S. I almost forgot to add...after running the karts, we went inside to their arcade room & raced head to head twice, on a video game. Too freaking funny. We blasted eahc other, bounced each other, and finished close to each other both times. I took the first one, and he took the second one. We were spent for time, so we decided to leave the arcade as a tie! LOL! Great stuff too...laughed the whole time. ;D
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Post by da_silva on Aug 21, 2002 13:59:49 GMT -5
The Madman, Is deeeead sexy. Great read, glad you guys finally got out there. Congrats. ;D
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Post by RacerX on Oct 3, 2002 12:50:37 GMT -5
Journal entry 9/26/02
Hello my little Rubens, I have a surprise for you...
While you were sleeping, I drove us to indianapolis! We're here! What, what do you mean you weren't sleeping because the smell was too bad? Hey, shut up! I stuffed you into the bottom of my duffle bag, right next to my soc....oh, ah, well....OK, but they were just washed, so it couldn't have stunk in there!
The lack of sleep is your own fault! You should have slept fine, stuffed into the bottom of the bag. You could have used those fresh washed socks as a pillow! Ha!
Anyway, enough of your travels...I had a wonderful trip. I saw wonderful country, the big Mississippi River, some old Civil War Memorials, old country homes, new country homes, fields of corn, cotton, wheat...what? Your only view was a smelly sock? Stop complaining. It was a wonderful trip, and more importantly...we're here!
(to be continued)
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Post by RacerX on Oct 3, 2002 13:03:42 GMT -5
(continued)
I have a surprise for you little Rubenio...LOL...you'll never believe what I just finished doing. I arrived so early this morning, that I decided to cruise speedway area & watch the vendors set up. Just as I thought, no one else was around, very little traffic, and I had great parking. I parked right at the corner of the speedway, and sure enough Toyota was just setting up their designated area!
I walked to the back side of their area, and quickly jumped the fence. I then calmly walked around to the front of their exhibit area to find three guys setting up the tarp/tent structure. Great news for me, when the guy setting up looked over and saw me, he also saw my TRD shirt, and immediately asked if I were a Toyota fan.
I told him it was the only reason I was here, and offered to help them finish set up. Kindly, he accepted my offer. I tried to stay out of their way, and help when I could. After finishing the tarp, the guy said I should stick around, I'd really enjoy what's in the truck!
Sure enough, we walked back to the two trucks and he opened the frieght doors. WUFF...MAJOR WUFF...
Their in front of me, was a shinning new TF102, fresh from the Paul Riccard track!!!!
Each one of us grabbed a wheel, and rolled it off the back of the truck. Then they quickly pushed it aside, and covered it with a car cover. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven...
My trip could have ended right then and there, and I would have been satisfied...but...but it couldn't end there, for there was more. Yes, the real reason I travelled 1200 miles. I had to yet again STAMP my authority on the karting world! Many a man (and a few girls) had already fallen victim to the great Schumi of Karting!!! This week, I fear many more would taste defeat at my very own hands...
I will cru...what, huh? I'm getting carried away? I'm out of control? Lookie here Rubens...I told you once before, and now I mean it: Know your roll & shut your mouth! This trip is for me...me I tell you! This is the trip where I unleash the ultimate wrath of Schumi on the karting world!
I'm stoked, I'm pumpped...they will fall to their knees and bow before me after this week-end....
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.....Ha-HA-HA-ha-ha...(evil laughing)
(to be continued)
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Post by RacerX on Oct 3, 2002 13:10:35 GMT -5
(Continued)
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha...
I swear my little friend. Tonight we celebrate, for Tomorrow I ride...and you know, if I ride...I win!!!!
Beers on me boys..let's get this party started....
Whaaaaa-whooooooooooooooooo
(Author's note:) ****This journal entry was never closed, so we can only assume it was ment to be closed here, at this point. I might add, from this page on to the next 5 pages, the journal is soaking wet and smells of beer...beer and...beer and...H'mm...beer and perhaps socks?****
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Post by RacerX on Oct 3, 2002 17:30:21 GMT -5
(Author's Note: Yet again, it seems our lustrious RacerX has forgotten to date this next journal entry. We can only assume it was the following day/evening?)
Hey Ruby baby...how's it (hic) hanging? Wuff, stop spinning the pages will you...stand still you little moron, so I can write on ya! Jeeeze...hang on...
(...oh yeah, much better, another shot of tequillia and a sip on a cold frosty beer.)
Wuff, last night about killed me. A little hair of the dog seems to be clearing me right up though. Wuff, I must clear for tonight I race, and you know what that means...tonight, I WIN! Wuff, at least I hope so. you know my little friend, do not tell anyone, but I'm getting a little scared. I know that I've vanquished many a contender on the big cars, but tonight it's real karts! Yep, we ain't talking 18 horsepowered mini cart cars, but more like little 5 horsepowered go karts. Wuff, my weight will be a definite disadvantage...
I fear the gentlemen we're meeting tonight will actually beat me. They're supposed to be big karters from back home. Yep, Austin. Wuff, I've seen them before, and all four of them are skinny as rails! My towering, thick frame will be taxing the hell out of our little engine...
Well, I guess there's no time to worry my friend, for now the time has come. I'd take you, but...just in case I lose, I don't want any witnesses! See, I can always fib a little, without witnesses. Also, Jason will be there too. I know I have 90 pounds on his boney butt. Wuff, this could get ugly: 4 skinny Austinites, and Jas...
H'mm...what's in store for the mighty Schumi of karting...will I yet again be victorious, or will it be ugly...real ugly...4th...wuff, 5th...yuk, or maybe even 6th place? This is bad...real bad. I must psyche myself up. I must have no fear. I know, I'll stare at my autographed M$ picture all the way to the track! Yes, that will do it...that will work. Stay tuned little Rubenio...in the famous words of Arnold Schwartznegger...I'll be back...then I tell all!
Wuff
Oh yeah, another cold, frosty one...now where'd I put that full color, autographed picture of the great one....
(Author's note: it seems yet again our RacerX has forgotten to properly close his journal entry. We can only assume he had something else on his mind...or perhaps he was straight up to drunk to figure out what day it was??)
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Post by RacerX on Oct 4, 2002 9:48:52 GMT -5
Journal Entry something or other...
Hey Ruby Baby...whaaa-whooooooooooo...Rubens, karting rocks! It's the most exciting thing I've done since racing motor-cross. What a thrill, no? Oh..oh yeah, I forgot...I intnetionally left you home, huh? Oh well, sorry chap. After all, you are my #2, and there's only room for one in these little things. Wuff, speaking of little...let me tell you about these tiny seats they have. LOL, I had to force my big arse into the tight, little formed seat. I didn't think it was going ti get stuffed all the way in!!!
Anyway, I managed. I have to tell you, it was wild. My four Austinites and Jas were all dressed out. We sported smocks, driving suits, a neck support, and a helmet. We almost looked like pros!!!
Anyway, tehy run 10 guys in a heat, my five friends & myself ran with four other strangers. Get this, have you ever heard of some guy named Eddie Cheever? No, well, no worries, I hadn't either, but it seems he is, or was an American pilot in CART or INDY cars...or something like that.
Anyway, he was there and everyone was making a big deal about it. I watched him run a few heats (seems he didn't have to wait like everyone else...bastard) and he was consistantly popping laps times of 24.XXX!!! Pretty impressive I guess.
Then when he finished the night, they posted his 24.030 as his best time! Not bad, eh? Well, now it was our turn. I lodged my but into that tiny seat, cracked my visor for air, and sat anxiously...awaiting the start!
As usual, I was way to excited. I talked to myself over & over, telling myself to calm down & have fun!!!
Sure enough we get the signal...I take the first turn rather gingerly, to feel out the kart. It feels good: stiff, responsive, and sticky...as in sticking to the track. I throttle up a little more and continue to increase my speed through the second turn which leads to a short straight that runs down to a 180 degree hairpen turn! I brake hard...maybe a bit to hard, and try to drive through the turn. It's tight, very tight, and slows me down tremendously. Immediately through, I'm back on the gas and running for the next corner.
That corner leads to a big sweeper that immediately runs up a straight ramp that takes you upstairs! It's a bi-level track, that really rocks!
As I get to the top of the ramp, I see the track turn right, and then right again. I'm easy through these turns, and then another tight right which points me to the down ramp and an aggressive hard left! Great passing opportunities all over this place!
After one lap under my belt, I feel it's time to crank it up! I push harder & harder. I feel the kart working under me. Obviously a very fine, smooth ride, until I hit the hairpen, where the poor kart struggle to get back up to speed. The rest of the track is nearly flat out, with some double footwork through the tighter corners!
It's a complete blast, I reel in a backmarker in three laps...set him up, and wuff, pass on the inside. At this point, I'm looking for my friends from Austin. They're behind, so I slow one lap to let three of them by on the outside of the upstairs sweeper. It's like a giant double apex right hander! Loads of fun taken flat out. Tyres squeeling for traction & grip, engine screaming...wuff!
After letting them by, I know it's now time for fun. I slowly reel them in. I gain on almost every corner but one...that freaking hairpen. It's so depressing reeling in a two second lead through three corners, only to see the guy you've caught pull away when he clears the hairpen.
I know then I'll need to find somewhere else to over take....My best turns have been the double apex upstairs...taking all that momentum through the tight right hander that runs back down stairs! I'd have to catch this guy before then...or it's back around to that damned hairpen again!
OK, the race is on...
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Post by RacerX on Oct 7, 2002 17:09:50 GMT -5
...that damned hair pen...LOL...this time I was right on his bumper, almost pushing him through the hairpen, but I tried to take a little wider entry, hoping to keep more momentum through the turn. Yes, it helped some! He's still pulling away a bit, but no where near as far as the lap before. This time I'm reeling him in before we even hit the incline back upstairs! I'm right on his bumper as the karts point upward...a small drift to the outside, full throttle now, and I'm evening up with him through the double apex. I know I'm on the outside (a bad place to be), but when he goes to set up for the tight right, I should be able to cut right under him! Sure enough, he swings out before he pointws the kart in, and slip...I squeeze right through the tiny opening he left! He tries to slam the door, but it's too late! He can only bump the side of my kart for I'm already even with him & pulling away!
Oh man, this is more fun than I imagined! I ride like crazed man for another two laps and sure enough I'm setting Jas up. He's already shown he's not affraid to bump, when I slowed to let him by earlier, he closed the door hard when there really wasn't a reason too.
I knew this one woould be tougher than the last. I tried to make sure I was close at the hair pen...Opps, bumped him a little...now the surprise in my surprise attack was gone. He was well aware that I was behind him, hunting him down.
He became more defensive in his lines. I blew my sneak attack!!! I pushed for two more laps, always trying an outside pass on the double apex. Finally he caught on and drifted wide on the next lap. I saw him drift and I immediately pushed inside. I barely pulled even at the end of the double apex, but good news was I was now inside & in control for the next turn! I squared off my turn, blocked him out, and was full throttle going down the decline into the next wild left!
It stuck, and he was toast! Now, onto the next victim...
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