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Post by dani on Jul 23, 2002 20:37:35 GMT -5
LOL!!!! That's too much, watch out mister madman!as PK pointed out, Pablo is a wolf in women's lingerie! (and you don't wanna know how much truth there is to that statement!LOL! ) i think he'd also inform you that it's ColOmbia and not columbia (I'm sure you're thinking what i was thinking "wutever!!!") actually no, you're probably thinking "WUFF!" I'm gonna say 1 buck on the madman (hey i'm a student!money doesn't grow on trees!!!) hehehehe! may the best loony win!!!
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Post by RacerX on Jul 24, 2002 10:10:05 GMT -5
Journal Entry 2002-95
Greetings you little turd. What? Hell yes I’m angry. OK, you’re right, I shouldn’t take it out on you. What? I’ll tell you what’s bothering me, it’s this Pablo guy. He barges into MY world and disrespects my accomplishments, belittles my skills and has the gall to challenge me to a race, then continually post pones the damned thing. It’s driving me crazy!
I specifically told him if he wanted some of this, he’d need to act quick, for I’m out to capture more titles, and I can’t be waiting around for him all month! Yes, Yes, this is the same Pablo that challenged me to a karting race over lunch that day…many days ago!
Yes, yes, we STILL haven’t met on the track! I told him I wasn’t getting any younger, but he always seems to come up with some damned excuse.
Yeah, I know, I’ve had many too, but mine were legitimate!!! He’s just toying with me, he’s counting on me getting older and slower! I know that’s it, he’s scared! My Colombian Challenger fears me…
I’ll show him age might take a few tenths off here & there, but like fine wine I’ll just get wiser! What, what are you talking about wines don’t get smart? What’s that got to do with me and my drive to be World Karting Champion? OK, OK, but you get my point…shut up it’s not the wine that’s important here, it’s me…it’s me…it’s all about me, damn you! I’m not in the mood for your picky bullsh*t!
OK, now back to what’s important: me and my drive to become WDC of the karting world…which obviously is a title I can’t claim until I’ve beaten my little friend from Colombia, until I’ve crushed my Juan Pablo Montoya on the track, until I…oh hell, you get the point! I wanna race this man now, so I can claim yet another title of the best, the fastest, the Michael Schumacher of karting!!!
Damned, I’m good, no? LOL…Ha-ha-ha,, hey shut up! Shut up, it’s a freaking joke, besides I am good. I crushed the cookie pedaling wenches, I annihilated my Mika, and now it’s time for my Juan Pablo to step up and get what’s coming to him! I’ll show him. I will.
Now if we can just figure out a time when we can both be at the track at the same time.
Damned.
Close Entry 2002-95
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Post by RacerX on Jul 24, 2002 10:13:10 GMT -5
Journal Entry 2002-101
Great, great news…(Total Sarcasm)…what? Don’t interrupt me you puke, I’m frustrated beyond belief right now. Oh, oh yeah, I’m sorry…I’ll start again.
How’s this: Greetings my little lifeless bitch, smart mouth self centered rat bastard, how are you today? There, are you happy now? Huh? Huh? I swear, I’m more frustrated than ever before and all you can say is I didn’t say greetings & ask you how you were today. Like I freaking care, you sniveling puke! I told you once before, it’s all about me damn-it, all about ME!!! I’m STILL waiting to get back on the track, to finally be done with this Juan Pablo of mine, and then I receive worse news than ever before! Totally disheartening news.
What? What could be worse than still put off and disrespected by my Juan Pablo? I’ll tell you. Now follow me here, don’t let this over come your shallow mind…
Here’s the deal. When my Juan Pablo Montoya challenged me, we agreed that neither of us should get any practice until we met up on the track, so it’s been a few months since my arse has felt the smooth caress of the kart seat. It’s been a few months since my ears have heard the symphony of the engine roar, the tyres squeel, and the wind rushing into my helmet. It’s been a few months since I’ve heard that stupid little voice of which I’m convinced is the in helmet radio. What? Yeah, ok, you got me there, I’m always hearing little voices in my head, but this one’s different! Really! Noo, really, I mean it, this one’s good, it su..hey kiss my butt, I’m telling this story so shut up.
Alright, now I’m missing out on any karting whatsoever, because I made a promise to this Pablo guy. I can’t get back in a kart until we meet on the track. So you’d think THAT would be bad enough, right? Wrong! Get this, I just heard that the Shamu Cart Championship North has already started their season!
(journal entry to be continued)
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Post by RacerX on Jul 24, 2002 10:14:30 GMT -5
(continued Entry 2002-101)
Yeah, believe it. I’m really freaking bummed out now. It seems that some Canadian guy invited over some famous Euro-karter from Switzerland. So while they’re starting their karting season, I’m sitting on my arse talking to you! Still waiting for my challenger to meet me on the track of his demise!
What? Yeah, I said Canadian & a Euro-karter…what about it? I don’t know I tell ya, all I know is they battled out a few races and this Canadian guy won. He beat the famous Euro-karter!!! He must be good, but I hear he’s getting older and washed up too, like myself, no(don’t tell that Pablo guy I said that)? Anyway, from what I gather, I think this Canadian guy was once a great World Karting Champion who had everything, then decided to change karts for money, or something.
Since then, he’s only been heard by his opinions…not by his driving…until today! I don’t understand how he beat the famous Euro-Karter…must have been home track advantage. I hear the fans were out in numbers that day. Cheering on their once great champion, while the Euro-Karter only had one fan in his corner…What? I don’t know his name, I think he goes by da silva! What? What do you mean I’m missing the point? He could be who? Oh yeah, good point, glad I thought of it, he will be my Jaques Vil…another evil arch nemesis of the great Schumacher! Yes, he’ll be my JV, for eventually he too must be conquered on the track!
That’s better, that’s more like it. I started off in a terribly frustrated mood, but now I have more to look forward too. Not only do I have my Juan Pablo character to dispose of, I now have my Jaques of the karting world, and I bet he’s a real evil one too, no? You think? You really think he’s probably a pretty good guy? Nah, I couldn’t let myself think that, regardless, for me he’ll have to be as evil as the devil himself. ALL of them MUST be evil, it’s Satan and his lap dogs, that’s it. I’ll cleanse the karting world of these evil doers (hey that sounds like “W” speak there…LOL) Kiss my arse, yeah I voted for him, but I had no ideal he was really THIS freaking stupid! Oh, like the other guy would have been better, I tell you what you pri...huh? OK, yeah, back to karting…
Well, you heard it hear first my little paper friend. I am the good. I will single handedly clean up the karting world of this evil that stands in my path of greater greatness! I have done away with my Mika, and soon enough I’ll do away with my Pablo, and then I’m sure I’ll bring the smack down on this Canadian resident from the north, my Jaques of karting. Then I will truly be the legend I think I am! HA-ha-ha-ha-HA…HA-ha-ha-ha-HA…(yeah, how’s that for an evil laugh?)
OK, I’ll sleep well tonight, knowing that many more victims lay ahead. Good night little one. Thanks for the chat, I'm feeling much better now...
Close Entry 2002-101
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Post by pabs on Jul 26, 2002 14:47:58 GMT -5
LOL!!!!! Holy shit! I can't believe I missed this thread!!!! Rx you crack me up!!!! Well, I'm back from my little vacation and ready to rock your world!!
In the words of Doc Holiday...I'm your huckleberry
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Post by da_silva on Jul 26, 2002 16:17:30 GMT -5
LOL@Pabs.......
Indeed RacerX is a MADMAN. Hehe.
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Post by RacerX on Jul 31, 2002 10:24:37 GMT -5
Journal Entry 2002-107
Hello again my little paper lap dog. How are you? LOL…as if I really care,no? I have hatched an evil plan myself today…the great great tacticion Ross Braun would be proud of this one. Get this, you know I’m soon to face my Juan Pablo of karting on the track anyday now. Well, I’ve sized up my competition and have a small worry. He’s much lighter than me, and I know weight counts a lot for karting. So today I yet again met this man for lunch. You see, he has a weakness I can exploit. We went to Art’s Rib House and sure enough, he has a weakness for the BBQ!
I’m so sneaky. Shortly after we sat down, I played up the ribs & spoke of how mouthwatering sweat they were. I acted as if I were going to be ordering a Full order versus a Half order. I alsom mention all the sides; beans, cole slaw, potato salad, etc, etc, andf all the other fattening items I could read on the menu.
I could see his eyes becoming more focused, and his mouth beginning to salivate. I knew he was hooked. My plan was in it’s opening phases and he was already mine….mine I tell you.
(to be continued...)
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Post by RacerX on Jul 31, 2002 10:25:52 GMT -5
Continued Entry 2002-107
Now we spent a few more minutes drooling over the menu when finally out waitress came forward to take our order. Being the kind man (more of my evil plan at work) I let this jaun Pablo order first. Sure enough my plan had succeeded. He opted for a FULL order of ribs with ALL the fixins! When it was my turn to order, I quietly whispered to her for a HALF order, and no trimmings! So far so good, my small order seemed to go unnoticed by what had now become a rib craving fiend! The normal strategy here would be like a two stopper versus a one stopper, but it gets better…I wasn’t just going to eat half of what my counterpart was going to consume, I was going to eat less than a third…now stay with me, here’s where it gets good:
As our plates arrived, the more complicated part of my plan would take place…this was tricky too, here is where Ross would have been so pleased…my three stopper versus their two & we kicked arse…LOL…When the plates arrived we dug in like a couple of starving students home for mama’s home cooking. This helped me pull off my switch. For every time I broke a rib off, I was actually pulling two off. I’ quickly nod at the cute waitress across the room, of which Pablo picked up on. When he’d turn his head to check her out, I’d slip one of the ribs on HIS plate & begin eating the other. It was crucial that he didn’t see me make the “reach & drop”, and it was crucial that I did this right after he’d pull a rib off his own stack!
The Ferrari pit team would have been pleased with my percision in pulling this off. As it stands, I’m pretty postitive my Juan Pablo put on an extra 5 pounds, while I lost three. Is that awesome, or what?…Huh? What…what do you mean this would have to happen 17 more times before we race, just for me to get even with his weight? What, that’s not fat…it’s solid muscle you paper alp dog…shut-up, shut-up I tell you…I might be a little soft, but I swear it’s muscle!!! It has to be, the way I throw those karts around on the track, it has to be! No softie could do that…no fatt…what, OK, yeah but they were real strong Girl Scouts…REAL strong! What would you know anyway. I swear, you’re lucky I don’t use you for starter fuel when winter rolls around. You beter count your blessings you smug little nothing!
(To be continued...)
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Post by RacerX on Jul 31, 2002 10:27:02 GMT -5
Yes, I say nothing…N-O-T-H-I-N-G…NOTHING! If we were a team, you’d be second fiddle to me bud, you’d be licking my boots daily…you’d be…you’d be…you’d be…you would be my Rubens Barichello you #2! Ha-ha-ha-ha-HA….HA-ha-ha-ha-HA…(hysterical, evil laughing fills the room)…HA-HA-HA-HA-HA….AH-HA-HA-HA-HA….
You always seem to make my day little one…tonight I’ll sleep well knowing I have another lunch planned for my Juan Pablo Montoya, and that my #2 will be right here beside me…backing me all the way. Ha-ha-ha-ha-HA…Ha-ha-h…what? I don’t care if you like it or not. I’m the number one around here, and you’re here for me…me-me-ME I tell you…me-ME-ME!!! Goodnight number two…see you tomorrow my little Rubinio…LOL…LOL…Ha-ha-HA! Good night, I must sleep, for this great mind must rest if I plan on coming up with more great plans like the one I pulled off today. Ha, I’ll have my juan Pablo as big as the real Juan Pablo in a few more weeks…thanks Art’s Rib House…you guys are a life saver!
Close Entry 2002-107
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Post by RacerX on Aug 16, 2002 9:49:44 GMT -5
Journal Entry 2002-112
Hello my little Rubens. What, no enthusiasm? Yes, I know. I'm feeling abit depressed. Why? WHY? You have to ask WHY? Well, I'll tell you why. It seems everything is against me, EVERYTHING! God, now I know how M$ must feel when he starts the year off & there's 21 other drivers hoping he'll DNF.
Where do I start....
OK, you remember my evil, sinister plan that Ross would be proud of? Well, yet again I lunched with my Juan Pabs of karting & it's worse. I'd swear he's loosing weight, looking fit & trim, and last lunch he anhialated no less than 40 spare ribs! 40!!! That had to be 5 or 6 pounds worth of ribs, and he prances around like he's a fit as a fiddle.
On the other hand, I feel bloated...Oh...damned, did I just say bloated? Scratch that. I feel heavy. Fat. What? You think I have a nice figure? you sweet, sweet Rubens...always playing the part, aren't you?
Well, enough of that depressing stuff, it gets worse.
I wanted to do some more research on my competition from up north...yes, yes, my JV of karting. Wait til you get aload of this....
(to be continued)
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Post by RacerX on Aug 16, 2002 10:00:24 GMT -5
Entry 2002-112 Continued...
I sent some inquiries out to learn more about this JV from that snow covered country North of us, and it seems some reporter Conchit consuello something or other has responded. It looks bad, real bad.
It seems that my JV didn't beat some ordinary Euro Star karter, but THE Euro Star karter. The guy my JV vanquished is considered the Ronnie Peterson of Karting, the greatest of the great! Wuff, I have yet to dispose of my very own Juan Pablo, and then I still must face this Champion from the North.......
What to do, what to do.
Wuff, finally, to top it ALL off....my arse has yet to stroked, caressed, smoothered by the seat of a kart.
Oh how I miss the touch, the caress, the stroking...when I ride...What? Why interrupt me Rubens, I was just abou...what? OK, OK, yeah I know, it's not a girl, but I swear; a good kart is more fun to ride than...well, never mind. Let's just say it's like making love, it all feels so perfect. Are you laughing again. Stop it, stop it I command you. Heck, what would you know about piloting a kart anyway, you're just my little Rubens.
You'll never understand. Never.
OK, I swear, it's this week-end or else. I shan't be kept from my love any longer. You hear me jaun PABlo? Do you hear me?? I'm doing it this week-end, with or without you!!!!! OK, you're right, a deal's a deal, I won't drive if you're not there, so I beg of the karting gods to let my challenger show. I beg they allow him to make his presence this week-end, then I beg they have mercy on his winless soul after I crush him, pummel him, on the track!
I'm coming for you juan Pablo.....I'm coming for you!
Then it's off to the North, where hopefully I will vanquish my JV........
Oh it's a beautiful day....a beautiful day.
God night my little Rubens...good night!
Close Entry 2002-112
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Post by Cine_Man on Aug 16, 2002 20:49:02 GMT -5
You all might get a kick out of this account... it includes the magic words, "better than...", which, BTW I totally subscribe to. www.ekartingnews.com/feat/feat_000801ghskip.htmlEnjoy. And, if you've never seen this anywhere else... "Where the smell of burning rubber drifts coherently around with the sweet scent of, well, other stuff burning..." Top ten reasons Racing IS better than Sex : 10. It's socially acceptable to do it while others watch. 9. Bigger cars don't always get the most attention. 8. The phone won't ring in the middle of your race. 7. You get to use your rubber more than once. 6. You don't have to sit through dinner and a movie before you race. 5. You and the car always finish at the same time. 4. You always know where to put your hands. 3. You can drive hard, right from the start. 2. The quicker you finish, the better you are. 1. You can do it more than once in one afternoon
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Post by RacerX on Aug 19, 2002 9:57:55 GMT -5
ANTICIPATION....... ...it's killing you, eh? OK, here's the deal. Pabs has been great with giving me time to post my diary entry from this past week-end, but problem is...I still haven't done it yet. Look for it with in the next four hours! Honest. I'll try to "cut-n-paste" them at lunch today! Thanks for your patience... ;D ;D ;D LOL, RacerX
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Post by Henrik on Aug 19, 2002 10:03:25 GMT -5
Hey RacerX,
You are killing us here!! How did it go??
Oh, in the meantime, the Ronnie Peterson of karting! Why, I'm flattered. ;D
Then again, my kart is black and gold in honour of the late great king of opposite lock!
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Post by pabs on Aug 19, 2002 10:56:19 GMT -5
LOL!!!! Yes Rx, I've been waiting for you to post your next diary entry. Henrik, all I can say is that we had a blast and that we've agreed to race again in the near future
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