Ferrari fires pits crew

[Mo]

SAN MARINO , May 22 (Reuters) - Ferrari Formula 1 Team have announced that they have fired their entire Pit Crew yesterday.
The action followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British Government's Work For the Dole Scheme and hire unemployed youths from Liverpool.
The decision was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed Scousers were able to remove a set of car wheels in less than 6 seconds with just a pair of mole grips each, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high-tech gear. This was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Ferrari management.
As most F1 races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari are seen to now have a massive advantage over every other team.
Ferrari got more than they bargained for during the Scouse Crew's first practice session. Not only were they able to change the tyres in under 6 seconds but within 12 seconds they had also resprayed, rebadged, and sold the vehicle to the McLaren Team for four dozen cans of Special Brew, a gram of Coke and a quick shufty at Coulthard's bird in the shower.

[Ruby2]

Thats our boys!!! They can have a car up on bricks in under 3 secs!!!

[greg99]

ROFLMAO!!!!!

[Mo]

news update:

Bernie's wagon loses its wheels

It was a poor weekend for Schuey, then, but he wasn't the only one to hit a low point. As Ross Slater reported in the The Mail on Sunday, F1 supremo Bernie Ecclestone suffered a blow during the European GP weekend when the wheels were stripped from his pristine Mercedes as it sat outside his pad in Chelsea. Neighbours were stunned. "We do get crime around here," said one. "Last year someone stole the timer from my sprinkling system and the odd potted plant goes missing. But we've never seen anything like this."
Not that Bernie was about to lose any sleep over the incident, you understand. "Do I own a silver Mercedes?" he said when confronted with the news. "Well, I had no idea about this. Thank you very much for letting me know." We suspect his wife Slavica still had a runabout at her disposal while Kwik-Fit was called...